Calm down Nigel!

Poor Nigel has been suffering lately. His blood pressure has shot through the roof and his eyes look puffy and red. In fact he looks rather like Hitler circa April 1945.

Farage’s bunker mentality has led him from one disaster to another. Almost every day another scandal hits the Junius, Robin Page and Lance-Watkin’s blogs. Even the British Democracy Forum is now almost totally dominated by stories of UKIP corruption.

The recent Roger Knapman letter sent Nigel into a fury! He had absolutely no idea that it had been written. Indeed, he only became aware of its existence after the first batch of letters had been sent on their merry way

I must say it was a treat to see him storming up and down the corridors of Brussels shouting at the top of his voice that he was surrounded by ‘incompetents and fools’. Unfortunately no one had the courage to tell him that he was the person who had appointed those ‘incompetents and fools’.

He abused David Challice, Steve Harris and many others. Various sycophants cowered in fear as Farage continued to rant and rave like Bruno Ganz in ‘Downfall’. It will be many a year before that moment will be forgotten in Brussels.

I hear that poor Steve Harris now suffers from panic attacks every time the phones rings. David Challice is so traumatised that he now has to change his underpants every five minutes. David ‘The Desk’ Bannerman is twitching even more than usual and Paul Nuttall is seriously thinking of changing his name to Brother Benito and retiring to a monastery.

Perhaps I shouldn’t tell Nigel about what’s planned on Saturday!