Another excellent article by Robin Page and taken from his Daily Mail blog: http://pageblog.dailymail.co.uk/2009/01/dave-youve-shot.html
Dave, Dave, what have you done?
Dave, Dave, what have you done?
You’ve shot yourself in the Hush Puppy – if they still make them.
Kenneth Clarke back in the Shadow Cabinet? Just when UKIP is imploding and a whole host of people are looking to the Tories for leadership – against Labour and the increasingly authoritarian superstate of Europe. How out of touch are you? Yes, no doubt Notting Hill will be in a state of political orgasm at the return of Europhile Ken. Your Tory heartland – middle England – will be in a state of despair.
Yes we know Kenneth Clarke is “brilliant” – a word used by Oxbridge politicians to describe other Oxbridge politicians. I prefer the word “useless” - a cigar smoking Mr.Bumble who has only managed to vote in 54% of the divisions in Parliament this year. To me he looks and behaves like a beagle – right down to smoking – and I wouldn’t let either of my dogs run my house, so why do you want him to help you run the Tory Party? With his European record the turn-off becomes even greater. Then, while allowing him in, you are still keeping the cocky, oily Alan Duncan! Why? Is this political correctness? What will he become – Shadow Minister for Civil Partnerships, Cushion Dusting and Flower Arranging?
And all this comes at a time when UKIP is imploding and thousands of potential Tories are looking for leadership and a political home; now you are leaving them homeless.
The fall of UKIP is tragic. Its leader, Nigel Farage, and the nodding donkeys that now run the party have turned UKIP into something that in my view resembles the British branch of Zanu PF. The internal elections last year have completely shredded the party – rules were ignored right, left and centre; people have been stitched up, thrown out and double-crossed and there are meetings, splits, schisms and breakaways going on all over the country.
For my part I have absolutely no political ambition whatsoever. This year promises to be a good one, of seeing gorillas in the Congo, butterflies all over Britain, my first visit to St Kilda, and I hope, a go on the Cresta Run for the Mail on Sunday. So do I need politics as well – not really? But I happen to believe that we have a lying evil government, that the EU is totally anti-democratic and the advocates of political correctness are undermining Britain in every way. So when numerous people asked me to stand in UKIP’s internal MEP selection process last year I said I would.
What followed was pure farce. First of all, in the spirit of all good farces, I fell over. I tripped over a sheep and landed on a bucket – breaking a couple of ribs. My sister found me half an hour later in the praying to Mecca position groaning. Just after recovering from this I got bronchitis – and all this after an operation for prostate cancer (story in the Mail on Sunday soon). Because of these circumstances I was going to find it difficult, but not impossible to get my nomination papers in on time. “We’ll help you”, said the Regional Organiser and the HQ Office Manager. They gave me a special dispensation to get my papers in a few days late. After returning from a secret conservation project – these same officials said:” Sorry you are out of Time”. I had been stitched up.
I phoned Nigel Farage, (Blair 4 – after Cameron, Blair 2, and Clegg, Blair3). That’ll be up to the Political Committee “, he said. Later he came back to me: “The Political Committee won’t accept you late documents, I’m really sorry”. It now transpires that Nigel Farage is UKIP’s Political Committee and he didn’t want me involved in the European Elections and of course there is no agenda or minutes for his non-existent committee. But don’t worry – UKIP had a Returning Officer for the elections – Piers Merchant the ex Tory MP. He told me that the election was farce and that I had been “ambushed”. His report showing numerous flaws has not been acted upon. Richard North, that star anti-EU campaigner who, with Christopher Booker, contributes major articles to the Daily Mail on the absurdities of the undemocratic EU, was also ousted from UKIP a few years ago – a man whose detailed research exposing the EU should be the required reading for both UKIP and Kenneth Clarke.
So we have David Cameron and Nigel Farage both successfully upsetting their own potential followers, who, ironically, are the same people. As a consequence there are thousands of people outside Notting Hill, in a so-called “democracy”, with no party to follow; it is pathetic.
Oh, and incidentally on one occasion Nigel Farage told me: “You should come over to Brussels Robin, the East European crumpet is fantastic”. I didn’t know that East Europeans had crumpet – I prefer chocolate éclairs and toasted teacakes.